Smartphones from the age of 11, social networks from the age of 7, hours spent in front of screens, often with no adult around... We can say it frankly: sometimes, we're a little out of our depth.

But don't panic. This article is here to help you see things more clearly. Not to make you feel guilty, but to help you understand what's really at stake. Because in a fast-moving digital world, what's needed is not control, but support.

The great gap between perception and reality

Think you know how much time your teen spends on their phone? The numbers tell a different story:

• 11-14 year-olds spend an average of 3h07 per day

• The 15-17 age group goes up to 4h43 on weekdays and parents estimate... 3h58

Result: we think we know, but we underestimate systematically. And this discrepancy complicates the dialogue.

But that's not all:

• 65% of 7-10 year-olds use a smartphone without an adult nearby

• In the 11-14 age group 93 %

They are therefore alone with their screen. For a long time. And often on applications we know little about.

Social networks: much more present than you might think

You think networking is for teenagers? Not so. Younger people are there too:

• 82 % of children aged 7 to 17 use at least one social network

• 63 % of 7-10 year-olds are already online (compared with 49% of parents)

Meanwhile, WhatsApp, which is used in virtually every classroom from the 6th grade onwards, isn't even mentioned cited by the majority of parents surveyed.

Parental control: an under-used (or misused) tool

Faced with such massive use, you'd think that control tools would be the norm. But no:

• Only 23 % parents use parental control (down 8 points on 2021)

• It is used more often by 11-14 year-olds (32%) than by 7-10 year-olds (24%)... which seems counter-intuitive.

And an even more surprising figure:

• 32 % of parents say they use spyware to monitor their child's digital activity

We want to keep an eye on things, sometimes on the sly... but without necessarily engaging in dialogue. The result?

• 52 % of parents say they discuss good digital practices with their children

• But only 39 % of children say this is true

In other words: we think we're talking... but they can't hear us.

So what do we do?

You don't have to be a digital expert. What counts is :

1. Genuine interest

Ask him what he looks at, who he follows, what he likes. Even if you don't like it. Even if you don't understand. He'll talk to you, if you listen without judging.

2. Open dialogue on content

Let's stop focusing solely on screen time. What counts is what it consumes. What's this video about? This influencer? How does it make him feel?

3. Set benchmarks, not fixed rules

Parental controls are useful. But it's not enough. Setting a framework is best done with himand not against him.

4. Leading by example

We can't demand moderation when we ourselves are glued to our phones at dinner or in front of the TV. Unplugging together is stronger than imposing.

5. Teaming up, not policing

What if we stopped digital spying? It's better to build trust than stalking messages in secret.

A good benchmark: does your child spontaneously show you what he's looking at? If so, you've already gained a lot.

What we remember

✔️ Children are alone on screens for long periods of time, often without a frame.

✔️ Parents underestimate their own use and overestimate their own vigilance

✔️ The real lever is the linknot control

✔️ Prevention involves listening, discussion and co-construction

And above all:

A child who feels listened to, respected, recognized... will talk. Even about digital technology. Even about what it hides. But it's all about creating that space.

You don't have to be perfect. Just be present.